Parenting styles and effects
- nvkieuoanh
- Jun 3, 2019
- 5 min read
Updated: Jun 3, 2019
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thlittlewarrior
The concerned issue
While preparing content for the website about life skills for children, I stereotyped that only Asian parents overprotect their own kids. Because according to Hofstede's cultural dimensions theory, most Asian countries has low score in ‘long-term orientation dimension’ (Hofstede & Minkov 2010), which means that people in these countries respect and preserve traditional values. Being polite and obedient to parents are must-do things. Therefore, most of parents in Asia think that they are always correct and children have to completely obey without any opposition. This is the reason why our group wish to create a program to advocate about necessaries of survival skills for Asian children. In addition, we also hope that this program could be applied in other countries so that there are more and more children can approach essential skills for their life and become more independent and confident. However, I was so confused that in developed countries where most of parents let their sons/daughters live independently since 18 years old, whether they are overprotective their kids or not, whether we can broaden our idea or not. In order to understand this issue profoundly and develop an appropriate program for Western children in the future, I researched parenting styles. In fact, different education background and life experiences may lead to different parenting styles. Over-protection, therefore, also happens in some family in Western countries.
Parenting styles and their effects
In 1966, Baumrind proposed 3 styles of parenting as authoritarian parents, authoritative parents and permissive parents (Baumrind 1966). Each parenting style varies in four areas: discipline style, communication, nurturance, and expectations. First, authoritarian parents are disciplinarians. They are likely use disciplines and punishments in teaching kids. Communication is mostly one way from parent to child. Negotiation is not acceptable. They set high expectations to kids. Second, authoritative parents are reasonable and nurturing. This type of parent also sets disciplinary rules but in a rational, issue-oriented manner. They communicate with kids and explain reasons behind their actions and rules. Expectations are also high but children may have input into goals. Third, permissive parents mostly let their children do what they want with limited guidance or direction. They are more like friends than parents. Expectations are not set by these parents. The last parenting style was developed by Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin in 1983 called uninvolved parenting (Encyclopedia n.d.). With this parent style, discipline style is no need. An uninvolved parent lets a child mostly do what he wants. In this parenting style, parents are considered as lack of communication and caring towards their kids.
The parenting styles mentioned above prove that too much anything won’t be good. With authoritarian parents, they over control their children, don’t let their kids have any chance to live independently and express their thoughts. Therefore, ‘children of authoritarian parents tend to be moody, fearful of new situations, and low in self-esteem’. In contrast, uninvolved parents don’t give their kids any concerns. It could be said that they are irresponsible parents who abandoned kids, left them on their own. ‘Their children may participate in deviant or high-risk behaviors’. In addition, being nurtured by permissive parents, children would have more space to develop in their own but they may develop into 2 different sides. ‘They tend to be creative, sociable, and friendly, but may also be impulsive, aggressive, and resistant to limit setting’. Because of interaction between adults and kids, the authoritative parenting style is thought to be most beneficial to children. ‘Their children tend to be assertive, able to regulate themselves, socially responsible, and respectful to adults’ (Encyclopedia n.d., para. 3).
Besides, there are other styles can be characterized by using alternative approaches to the styles proposed by Baumrind. There is a style recently receiving a lot attention from public, which is called hyper-parenting styles. ‘Examples of hyper-parenting styles include: 1) helicopter parents who try to solve all of their children's problems and protect them from all dangers, 2) little emperor parents who strive to give their children all the material goods they crave, 3) tiger moms who push for and accept nothing less than exceptional achievement from their children, and 4) parents who practice concerted cultivation by scheduling their children into several extracurricular activities to provide them with an advantage (Janssen 2015, p. 55). Regarding to over-protection from parents, resulting in life skills shortage in children, I will mainly analyse helicopter parenting to examine its drawbacks. Side effects of helicopter parenting is inevitable because ‘if parents repeatedly make decisions and solve problems (with roommates, employers, professors) for their children, it would limit the children’s opportunities to practice the skills needed to flourish in emerging adulthood, successfully take on adult roles, and in general, become a self-reliant individual’ (Bergin 2013, para.7). Researchers state that although helicopter parents are those who just try to solve children’s problem, this style is as serious as psychological and behavioral control as in authoritarian parents. Therefore, it ‘may contribute to a ‘failure to launch’ syndrome and potentially discourages college-aged children from becoming autonomous’ (Walker & Nelson cited in Bergin 2013, para.4).
Discussion
In general, if parents choose an improper style to raise their kids, it may affect kids in further development. Concerning over-protection towards kids, both authoritarian parenting of Baumrind and helicopter parenting style are related to this issue. If authoritarian parents always set irreplaceable rules and impose their thoughts on their children, helicopter parents teach their child in a gentler method. Helicopter parents although as not serious as the authoritarian parents, these two styles consider their thoughts are correct and require their kids to obey their decisions. Therefore, children in these families are hardly to success and live independently as they are arranged and planed by other people. They are overprotected, they are not encouraged to develop essential skills for their life.
Implications
As a result, not only Asian children but also Western kids need to participate in a life skill program. Therefore, for the next project, we will improve skills fitting with kids in developed countries as well as make an advertising plan to approach their parents, raise their awareness about this issue.
References
Baumrind, D 1966, Effects of Authoritative Parental Control on Child Behavior, Child Development, vol. 37, no. 4, p. 887-907.
Bergin, M S 2013, The Hazards of Helicopter Parenting, BYU Magazine, viewed 28 May 2019,
<https://magazine.byu.edu/article/the-hazards-of-helicopter-parenting/>.
Collins, T 2019, Helicopter parenting WORKS! Hyper attentive approaches to raising children used by middle class parents give them the best chance of success, Daily Mail, viewed 29 May 2019, <https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-6682977/Helicopter-parenting-used-middle-class-parents-gives-children-best-start-life.html>.
Encyclopedia n.d., Baumrind, Diana 1927-, encyclopedia, viewed 28 May 2019, <https://www.encyclopedia.com/people/history/historians-miscellaneous-biographies/diana-baumrind>.
Janssen, I 2015, Hyper-parenting is negatively associated with physical activity among 7–12 years old, Preventive Medicine, vol. 73, p. 55-59.
Hofstede, G & Minkov, M 2010, Long- versus short-term orientation: new perspectives, Asia Pacific Business Review, vol.16, no.4, p.493-504, doi: 10.1080/13602381003637609
Morin, A 2019, 4 Types of Parenting Styles and Their Effects on Kids, very well family, viewed 29 May 2019, <https://www.verywellfamily.com/types-of-parenting-styles-1095045>.
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